Driving home yesterday, I saw a billboard that read "Life doesn't end at breastfeeding." I'm certain a man printed this sentiment. And although the experience of nursing our three wonderful babies has brought me much bonding with them, quiet time, and some introspection, I wouldn't tell other moms that the party continues after baby decides you're an all you can eat diner.
Apparently I could feed triples in a desert in the middle of a drought. I've always been that way. Too much milk is a horrible problem, so much so that it usually results in me screaming at my husband, crying, and wandering around the house topless until my supply can calm down. It's always been my argument that if his balls suddenly swelled to three times their normal size, he'd be crying too. It's hands down the worst pain I've felt including child birth, breaking my ankle in eight places at once and being burnt by an acetylene torch. I'd go through it again. Mostly because I've heard stories from other moms who had been robbed or talked out of nursing their babies by crappy nurses and doctors who were too busy to help them. Honestly it's just easier for them to demand the baby take formula.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm no nursing Nazi. I'm a total freedom of choice mommy. But I know that a support system is necessary to successfully nurse a baby, especially in the first 36 hours. You also need someone to push drinking water into your hand every time the baby gets hungry. Luckily by now my husbands got that down. Unfortunately, the road to nursing success is long, and hard, and usually a little painful unless you're a nursing savant. I'm not. You'd think that something so basic and essential to the babies survival would be easy. Alas, not so.
We all know the reasons it's a good idea to breastfeed. Better for the baby, better for you, lose post baby weight faster, cheaper and easier than formula, no bottles needed and on and on. What they don't tell you in all the public service announcements is that its terribly lonely. All the baby books would have you believe that you spend tons of time nursing the baby and gazing wondrously into your newborns eyes contemplating the joys of your union and togetherness. That's crap. Usually, the little sluggers fall asleep about three minutes after you "plug them in" and then you're left playing human pacifier to them until they nod off completely. So what do you do then? Assuming that you're like me, you aren't nursing in front of strangers with your first child. I didn't. I'd run to the bathroom, hoping that there was a chair, or the nursing room at the mall or the car in a pinch. I'm pretty sure it makes my father in law uncomfortable, so I'd head to the sitting room away from everyone else when the baby started getting fussy. That's when you up your score, one handed, on angry birds. I'd say this qualifies as the party being OVER.
A long long time ago, when my son was small, my in laws had just bought a lake house. We drove down to visit, and one of the neighbors invited us all out on his speed boat. Assume the nursling cant be away from me more than 90 minutes or so, and I have no idea when the SS Minnow would return. A baby has NO reason to be on a speed boat right? So I spent the afternoon cooling my heels with the baby treating me like an open bar. I'd say this qualifies as a serious downer.
Another time, my husband's brother and sister in law were in town from Alaska. We drove 45 minutes away for some of the best friend chicken on earth. Of course, baby got hungry right as the plates hit the table, so I spent the next 40 minutes or so nursing him in the restroom. We finally get back to the table and my dinner's been boxed up. I will NOT cry in front of family in a post-natal hormonal temper tantrum brought on by low blood sugar. Just keep repeating that and it will become true, right? Complete party fail.
So my point here ladies (and maybe a few gents) is that we are doing no favors to the mommies of tomorrow by ill preparing them for breastfeeding. The party IS over because you're nursing. You cant just go off and do whatever you want anytime you feel like it anymore. That baby needs you, and nature is going to do its best to insure that you want to be with that baby. The real story is that it doesn't have anything to do with nursing, but everything to do with parenthood. Believe me, the party's over for the next 18 years at least. Welcome to the next evolution.
It's over... SO over.
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