I go to the grocery store once every two weeks. On payday. It a big box store that pretty much carries anything you'd ever want. The kind my husband plans to head for during the zombie apocaplypse. I buy the bulk of our groceries in one large trip, meals planned and coupons clipped. We will only go back to the store for perishables if we run out. I take all three of my kids. And you will NEVER catch them screaming in the store. NEVER. It's not allowed. Most people ask me how I manage this, or they simply bask in the adorableness that is my family on a shopping trip. Don't believe it? Try a trip my way and see. I'm going to give you all the "holy commandments" for shopping with kids.
First commandment- Make a list. This is the best rule for anyone going with kids, and those of you on a budget. Impulse buys really rack up your bill, and they waste time which will eventually lead to crankier kids. I plan out a certain number of meals, in most cases 12 because I figure we will either eat out or eat leftovers two nights in a two week period. Dinners only, then add snacks and lunch options for myself and the kids thinking that my husband will be at work during the day.
Second Commandment- Organize your list according to your store. I know where things are in my store and so should you. Make your list and then copy it according to where things are stored to save time running in circles. I organize right to left, in a round pattern, so that when I walk into the store, I visit the right front, then right back, then left back then left front of the store. This also neatly bypasses the toy department. This way you only have to walk around the store ONCE.
Third Commandment- Let the kids help. Really. Let them help. I don't buy many items that are in glass bottles, mainly food is sold in plastic or cardboard boxes, so what's the harm in letting them pick up the item and toss it into the cart? We make a game out of it. My older kids hang onto the cart and ride holding onto the outside with their feet on the cart rail. When I get to an item I need, then I say what the item is, and how many we need and they get to retrieve it from the shelf and toss it in. This allows me to have enough time to make goo goo faces at the baby and it keeps them engaged in the activity and makes people think you're super mom because your aren't shrieking at the top of your lungs "DONT TOUCH THAT!!!!"
As a side note, I will say that your childrens safety in public is your first priority. By using this commandment, you will gain the ability to just look at your kids, instead of turning your attention from them to decide which products to buy.
Fourth Commandment- Let the kids pickout their own snacks. Unless you're on a super tight budget, let the kids pick out their own snack brands. So what if they want the Angry Bird gummies instead of the cheaper off brand. It will save you .30 but they're more likely to eat things they've picked out themselves. If I let them get My Little Pony toothpaste, they'll ask to brush their teeth instead of acting like it's a chore. I wish they made cartoon branded cleaning supplies.
Fifth Commandment- Make it a game. I play a variety of games with my older kids, ages 4 and 2. My oldest son loves I spy in the produce department. I tell him what we need, then he has to look for it. Then I let him get a bag and count out the number we need. For my daughter, I ask her to pronounce all the foods we are passing on the way to whatever we need. Can you say asparagus???
Sixth Commandment- Do not take hungry or tired children shopping. I know sometimes you just HAVE to stop and pick up something for dinner. I will usually pick up takeout before I'll set foot in the store with hunrgy or tired kids. Plan a shopping trip well before nap time, and after either lunch or breakfast. This will cut down on low blood sugar fits in the isles, or your kids trying to tear open all the packages before you get home. And if you're one of those people at the store at midnight with a child under ten, and it's NOT the zombie apocalypse, I think you should be flogged.
Seventh Commandment- If you find yourself ignoring the Sixth Commandment, or you're just really stuck in a jam (like your husbands family is coming over in two hours for dinner and you havent even showered today), then listen up. Make a race out of shopping. I'll push the cart and let the older two kids trot after me while I'm saying "don't get me, don't get me", and they'll giggle "gonna get you, gonna get you!" Sometimes the giggling is a little louder than I'd like, but most people would prefer a laughing child that a fit throwing child. This works if your kids are constantly running away from you in a store, it's a way to get them to run with/after you which is the first step toward getting them to stop running away! It's a way to speed things up when they're nearing their patience limit. And it allows me to get to the products I need quickly, without them all wiggling in the basket and sniping at each other.
Eighth Commandment- Have a marching song. We love Carly Simon's Winnie the Pooh song "Sing Ho." See if you can find it on You tube, it's awesome. Anytime I need them to follow me quickly and mostly quietly, I start singing "Sing Hooooo, for the life of a bear, sing Hooooo for the expedition!" They will both fall in line behind me like good little soldiers and keep marching until I finish the song. Sometimes they sing along, and there is nothing cuter than my two year old marching. Even in the grocery store.
Ninth Commandment- If all else fails, cut your losses. Always have an escape plan. Just get enough food to get you through a day or two and cut your losses. Find a fast checkout line, and JET.
Tenth Commandment- Grocery shopping is a team effort. If I forget something that I just NEED to make dinner (chardonnay in beef stroganoff, sour cream for tacos, olives for spaghetti) and I'll have my husband pick up an item or two on his way home from work. He never minds. I just convince him that whatever item I need is ESSENTIAL for whatever culinary masterpiece I'm making for dinner. If he wants to eat, he has to bring it home.
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