Welome Home, Baby

I have a friend who just adopted her second child. I just can't wrap my mind around it. She must have the patience of a school marm because she weathers all my inane questions without any snide remarks. I couldn't handle people being in my business with so much detail. She flew to pick up her little boy, alone, into a tempestuous part of the world, while her husband stayed home with their first child. I think shes a pretty brave lady. Not just because she made this journey, twice, with a little boy, but because she's willing to take on this resposibility for the rest of her life without the genetic "safety net" the rest of us have.

I think I need that 40 week duration before the baby's born to steele my resolve that I have to make this work. It's not at all like the waiting period on a new gun, once you're pregnant, the baby is a cash and carry deal. No returns. Of course, my babies can probably feel my hesitation, which is why they are more like 42 weekers.

Once they are born, I don't have time to stop and think "What have I done?" The baby needs milk, the baby needs changed, the baby needs rocked, the baby needs me. When they're born, they already recognize my voice, my smell, my husband's voice, and sometimes our basic habits like being lulled to sleep by the car or calmed by my favorite music (thank you sarah brightman). The baby is soothed by our familiarity. I'm a co-sleeper, which I know is a very controversial topic, but we haven't squished a baby yet, so I think it's ok. And the baby usually sleeps better and more soundly when they sleep next to us than in their cribs.

My friend doen't have such luxury. Her family has to welcome this new child, and convince him that they're in for the long haul. After being abandoned by his mother, I'm sure it's a struggle to trust anyone again, maybe especially people who are pretty foreign to you. He doesn't know your voice, your smell, heck, this is a totally different country than he was used to. I can't imaging as a mother, beginning at that point. Takes guts. And patience.

I'm excited for her struggle, mostly because I know it takes a village to raise a baby, and I hope th, at in some small way we can help her family bolster the idea that we are all together, for the long haul. And hopefully he will get to know all these things, smells, people, and places so that they can comfort him in the future. Welcome home, baby.